Tilt-a-whirl

I hear you knocking...

I hear you. I appreciate the furtive and tentative emails that begin with "are you ok?" or "well?" or stuff like that. It's obvious, I know...living with my mother has been turning me into a wreck. I hit the wall this week. Seriously, I know that I should have been jumping for joy on Tuesday because our house closed and on top of mom's closing on Friday, this is kind of monumental. Monumental in this mess of a housing market, I should say.

It has been very hard to live with Mom, who is a very unhappy woman. Not unhappy because she is living in this wonderful place but unhappy with herself, which is a pretty sad state of affairs. We have been struggling lately and I jokingly told friends that they may have to visit me in Folsom Prison because I was ready to murder someone. :o) Well, I just had to stand outside of my own skin and see the situation as it is. Rod and I are very good people who have been bending over backwards to  try to make mom happy and comfortable, having succeeded in the latter. The former, we were told yesterday by her, is impossible. So be it but when do we stop trying to please our parents?

The whole point of this is that we are going ahead with getting the estimates for the building of the cottage and studio. We have to reclaim our home and will do everything to make certain that Mom has a lovely home and I can have a dye studio/workshop where people can visit. It will be the garage part of the plans but we will insulate it and finish it so that it is my work space with heat and air.

I have to say a public THANK YOU to my friend Kathleen  , who surprised my weepy self with such a beautiful thought and help. These arrived at the perfect moment.

I am feeling a lot better, thanks to kind words and deeds. I turned an important corner in my life and have taken my power back and put it into my pocket. I was powerful enough to forgive my mother and give her a shampoo today. Someone asked me how I could do it and I said that to forgive is for ME...for MY well being. I also have to thank my LAUREN for being such a terrific woman friend and daughter.

So, today I have taken a little time for myself. I have yarn drying and so your orders will be on their way shortly. Today I needed to take for ME. I worked out in the front today, trying to chip away at some of the post construction soil that was lavishly covered with hairy bark. I finally got my big box of IRIS that had been mistakenly delivered to the Lafayette house and so I dug and hammered and got some soil scratched enough for the iris plants to have a nest. It is just going to take a little water on the non drip areas to soften up the rock hard clay. The places where the drippers have been, you can take a spade and make that slurpy, scratchy sound of digging peat or digging the clay that could be spun into a pot. Skerlump. Fine...skerlump yourself over there and let me put some soil ammendments into that hole...it is going to be a long battle to get a garden going but I did it in Lafayette...wrestling the clay soil into a workable and crumbly medium. Let's face it...I am not 32 anymore but I can give it a go, when I take a day off. :o) The iris are in and so are some other little corms that I picked up at the Farmer's Market...little things that grew in my Lafayette garden. I guess that I am sentimental about such things and now, finding the local growers, I know what will survive the winter. It won't be much different but unless there is a whiff of Who Died, the air smells a LOT better up here.

This afternoon, I am going to take back the living room and spin...dammit. :o) Some cap maker seems to think that I am some sort of a color goddess and so I have to spin a LOT of cashmere to dye some Just For Him color. Hmmmmmmmmmm...what shall it be? I don't know yet but it will be rich, with the canvas of cashmere.

Look out life, I am coming back.

Thanks to all of the folks that came to see us in Santa Monica. The Fabulous Fiber Fest turned out to be a lovely event and Rod and I had a wonderful time. Thank you to Karen Leckhart for the best hugs of her zoom zoom day. It was wonderful to see so many of our regular Los Angeles friends and to get to meet so many new people. I am trying to convince TOM (my brother from another mother) that he should come back to LA for the weekend next year and either have his own booth or hang out with us, the way that he did for a couple of Contemporary Craft Market shows. Now then, those of you  who adore his work could have a place to come and play dress-up with the most fabulous caps on the planet.

Trouble with ordering on the site?

Ok, this is just one quick message now that I am home from Los Angeles. I have been informed that people shopping with Windows machines are getting a message that my security certificate has expired. YIKES. I have put in a call and messages to the web host guys and we are going to sort this out because it is not something that *I* let lapse. It does not seem to effect people using Mac machines like me so I was taken by surprise when someone alerted me this afternoon as well as last evening. No WONDER it got quiet in Order Land! We will get this taken care of as SOON as my GUY figures out what the problem is and FIXES IT!!!!!!! Siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. :o(

ALL FIXED. you may now talk amongst yourselves. :o)

Hitting the road

Soooooo. Sheila sez that she is hitting the road tomorrow. She and Michael have a lot longer drive down from the swirly DRAIN, Oregon to Santa Monica than we do from Placerville. We, however are getting up BEFORE the crack of night on Thursday, to join those Ernst people on the ugly old Hiway 5, down the middle of Cahlifournya, as Ahnold likes to say.

It is the first show since Stitches West, for crying out loud! I can't believe that it has been that long since we dragged our stuff somewhere but then I guess that we have been dragging ALL of our stuff from there to HERE for the past two months! Ai-yi-yi. Actually, although I will miss my home and my pets...I need a break from M O M. She will be just fine with the giant Frick and Frack in the house and with the daily visits from the pet/granny sitter, she will be better than fine.

So...to reiterate. YES, we are heading to Santa Monica, to the Fabulous Fiber Fest at the Civic. This will be the first time doing a show at that venue since we decided to stop doing the juried craft shows down there, after about 17 years. It is going to be interesting to see the place in a different event. Please tell your friends about this Southern California fiber event. There will be a lot of great vendors and so it should be well worth your while! I can't wait to see some of my favorite fiber friends again!
 

Whine Country? Oh...WINE country!

It is a little of both these days, I guess. I had the distinct pleasure of spending  a good few hours with these people today.

I know that Mr. Schnickle looks mighty perturbed but I just caught him in that look that kids get when they have been scooped out of the car seat for another bit of time somewhere ADULT. Here we are in the parking lot at Holly's Hill . This winery has some beautiful white wines with some of the most spectacular fragrance. This was our second stop, the first being Miraflores which features some beautiful red wines. We went to their special event tasting today which was for their Port and Muscat paired with magnificent chocolates from a small chocolateur in Diamond Springs. Oh MY.

You see, my daughter began to show me that there are very nice wineries not 10 minutes from my front door. What a crack-up! We are living in the middle of a lot of private roads that house little secrets...farms and wineries. What a wonder. The nice thing about these two places that we visited is that they were not snooty about our lovely 20 month Schnickle. As a matter of fact, at Holly's Hill, there were some books and toys and he was not in the way at all. So much more laid back and nice than what Napa has become. Shhhhhh...it's a secret.

When we get the real studio up and running, with the ability to have visitors, it will be wonderful for people to come up here and also visit the wineries or go to the Apple Hill festivities this fall.

Something new. Painted Desert... this is Hardtwist Petite.

 

Turkey Lurkey

Mom says this morning...the turkeys are lurking outside of my window. Good...she can see them. They are the funniest group of birds. They step very delicately everywhere that they go and do the balletic movements when scratching around in the grasses. These, my friends, are not the Butterball turkeys, who probably could never walk upright, let alone fly in for a landing. Mr Schnickle, when visiting, makes a beeline out the back door to his favorite word...Ousside. He has a real need to spread more than enough cracked corn for the creatures that he has not seen yet. I am waiting for the day that HE can say that the turkeys are lurking ousside.

It is official. Mom's house is in escrow. We are three days into a 21 day escrow...must be something about Orinda and getting one's child into the school system. Whatever...we are sitting in the parallel roller coaster cars and by the time August is finished, we will have sold both of the homes. Someone said that we need to buy a lottery ticket. Nope, no need. Life is sweet without unnecessary gambling.

After the grueling day of moving all of the leftover C R A P out of the garage in Lafayette, Rod was unusually chipper for someone who drove two hours, lifted a lot of stuff and then drove 2 more hours to unload a lot of stuff. The thing is...it finally hit him. He is retired. He is retired and in his 50's and it is going to be ok. He is rising to the occasion a little more with the business, which makes me feel a little less alone and harried (I am NEVER alone anymore...) about getting things out to people. We ARE making progress and thanks to the ever cheerful woman who drives up the hill to retrieve our packages, things are getting done.

You know, it seems like a LONG time since I was a knitwear designer. I have not had time to do any knitting myself. Last night I cracked open a skein of the new Hardtwist Petite and decided to knit up a new swatch with some color to it. This is Mars Quake and I used size 2 US...others will probably have to go to a 1 if they are loose knitters. It is springy and wonderful and not just for socks...

Perhaps I should just go ousside and knit.

PS...Schnickle came for a visit with his mommy and yes, he got to see his turkeys...the entire troupe. Do I deliver, or WHAT?

Gnats in the Bellfry

Oh my, I sit at the computer each night, getting stuff ready for mailing, with the windows open, and I must have 200 little gnats that squeeze through the screen to dance around in the light and drop dead. What'supwiththat? We WERE very happy the other night, when we squirted the big icky wasp nests at the peak of two roof lines (not a pretty picture of us running from the swarm that later dropped dead. Ewwwwww) and found that out in the dusky light over the house were a couple of fabulous and dynamic bats doing their thing. Gnats or bats in the Bellfry...I prefer the bats.

Little Mr Schnickle (aka Don'tholdmyhandcuzIcancrossthebridgebymyselfgrammy) came for a visit today while mommy had a nice time exploring the local (who knew) wineries about 10 minutes from here. He brings us good luck, this little Schnickle Man...when the offer came in on our house in Lafayette, he was here. Two days into mom's  house being on the market officially...in comes an offer. We lobbed it back for MO MONEY but it was the first offer. Let's  gitterdone, baby. Cross your fingers for us.

Now then, the next stuff is nothing but scenic. I though that I would share some images from around here. I want to thank those of you who shared and wrote encouraging messages, by the way. Today was a good day and mom was more herself...I think that whether she wants to admit it or not, the visit from the little man was good for her, too.

This is Tank up toward the back of the property behind the house. The rocks to the left are part of a wall built over 150 years ago by Placer miners, who worked this land, with water. We have great big piles of these things in all sorts of places where the land was sculpted by this sort of mining.

I went climbing on this particular area this morning and beside wondering just WHO could be living under 6 feet of piled river rock, I just got jazzed by the subtle beauty of it.

Sasha and Tank really ARE the happiest of campers. I can only imagine the creatures that they are scenting as they head out and up the hill. Just don't  bring me any volatile oils, guys...where is that Calydryl, anyway?

I am learning to walk tall and carry a big squirt jug of Maximum Strength Round Up. Unless I take up the offer of someone over in Coloma and adopt some little goats, I have to come to terms with using this stuff cuz with the Good...ferns and other lovely foresty ground cover comes the B A D...Poison Oak. (this is written with me making a hex sign with my eyes...BAD PLANT)

As you see, I am STARTING to feel at home because there is starting to be more than green and brown in the landscape. We moved here wondering what color would emerge from the ends of the Crepe Myrtle branches and we just got our answer. Our spindly but Good Sport heirloom tomatoes (I know, pathetic) made it here and are trying to make a few fruit. I KNOW that they are pathetic because we had MAGNIFICENT heirloom tomatoes from the Farmer's Market last week...it is the thought that counts...I brought them from Lafayette and no cloven hooved creature has eaten them yet.

That is how I do it in the August sun.

Tomorrow we take the rental truck down to Lafayette to clean out the garage of all of the things that the movers failed to bring (!!!). We will sign our papers next week. Let's hope that the 21 day close that the people who want mom's place have offered (they want their kid in the Orinda school district, big time.) comes  to pass. I want to be done.

Gurgle

I know that it can't be August...how can it be August??? Good lord, in three more days my First Born is going to be 34! Yes...I WAS a child bride and YES I was just a little over 12 when he was born. :o) This is also the month when my mother will turn 82. The gurgle and the lack of posting is because of the elder of the two...it has been more than a little daunting to be sharing my life with her after all of these years.

I am learning patience once again and I am learning to let go. Mom is entering into what I sense is the last bit of her life and my place in this is to give her a safe place to let go, when she is ready. Mom hates doctors. I just don't know when this became so scary for her but I suspect that losing her daddy in the hospital when she was 16 has put this into her psyche. She took care of her own mother at this same age and when Grandma needed to go to the hospital and then on to the nursing home, Mom made it happen. She also made it happen for Lenny, my step-father, rising above her fear of the hospital, each time that he had a procedure and then on through the stroke, heart attack and the final giving up of the ghost when his body said Enough. For herself...no doctors. She has paid for medical insurance and went through with cataract surgery and treatment for her glaucoma and macular degeneration but when it comes to anything involving tests where an internist would shake a finger at her, saying that she needs to take better care of herself...the answer is no. She got upset at me the other day when I was talking to my daughter on the phone because she thought that she heard me say that I was going to make her go to the doctor. She did have to go to an internist a few years ago, just to get the permission to go under the scalpel for the cataract surgery and for mom, the doctor became the perfect one for her. This lovely woman respected mom's wishes and did nothing more than test her blood pressure and get her on meds so that she could avoid a stroke. She could have been given a doctor that pressured her into having all sorts of tests to show that she is a mess. She IS a mess and we all know it but the mess is safe with me and my helpmate.

I have been told that he and I came into this world with a pact that we would take care of our parents and when we married and he had the opportunity to relocate, we knew that we could not do it because our parents would need us. We saw his parents through to the end. We saw Lenny through to the end, albeit at a little more distance because mom was in charge and still driving. This time we have gathered up the survivor and have her here. Now I need to keep my promise and let her decide when she wants to leave. We need to go forward with the plans to build the cottage across the driveway, no matter what.

You see, I have been quiet because I have hives from the stress of it all and because everybody seems to need me. I have been getting through my orders and when I have a day when there are a few hours just for ME, I go into the corner of the garage with the windows and the sink and counters and create. It is a bittersweet time because I am over the moon in love with my place here in Placerville. I know that I am Home and in the right place for me and my family but my hopes that getting mom out of Miss Haversham's in Orinda and into a healthier space was a fantasy. She is getting worse and that is that.

Yes, I am preparing to make the trip to Santa Monica in three weeks. I am taking each day as a gift and forging ahead. We have a friend who will check on the pets twice a day and so mom will not be left completely alone as she was hoping. Nope...not taking the dogs to the kennel so that you can be all alone here in this big house. Not gonna happen, my friend. Life goes on for me and each new day that I hear her awful cough, I know that she made it through another night and I had better fire up the coffee.