Fingers Crossed

Two days ago, I put a CD with my best Beauty Shot arty-farty photos and a couple of pages of paperwork into a padded envelope giving it all an imaginary kiss for good luck before doing the hand-off to Arlene, our wonderful mail carrier. I set my Intentions and at this point, what happens will be the decision of others. I applied for "Rhinebeck".

I did a big career show shift, many years ago, when I decided that I was going to pull myself from the juried craft shows that had been the mainstay of the small world of my California-only artisan knitter/spinner/dyer days. It was a big move and I knew that if I did not spend those long hours creating the garments that sold for a fraction of their actual worth, I would never put myself back into that particular world. I became simply an artisan dyer/spinner, in the eyes of others, because that was where I was meant to put my emphasis.

I used to sit and knit all day, every day. That was how I identified myself; Knitter. It just wasn't something that people did anymore but the finished item was what people wanted. It helped me move through the grief of letting go of The Dream of my youth; my music career. I had a single-minded focus and threw myself into what had always been a part of my life but this time from the ground up, learning by doing, before the advent of the internet, where knowledge is now speedy and easy. Sheep shearings, sunny day fleece washing, handspinning and then letting the yarn that I made "tell me what the garment would be". It was as though I was back in art school, learning to mix guache and copy anatomy drawings, to create the layers of knowledge that as an artist, you eventually peel away, to get to the core of something.

Peeling away the layers. I did that first tug, when I decided to say goodbye to 20 years in that marvelous space under the redwood trees at the King's Mountain Art Fair, outside of Woodside, where we strung my sweaters between the trees and created a huge wall of yarn, there in the elements. It was such hard work doing that show and by the end of the final weekend I was in tears as we packed the last pieces of the display into the van, completely worn out by the effort. I knew that it was time to let it go. People were shocked and disappointed when I did not appear in that space the next year but I knew that a shift was coming and I had to do something different. It took another schyzephrenic year of juried shows and yarn shows before I knew that I had little time to knit anymore. People had begun to knit again and this time, in record numbers, thanks to the internet. My decision to focus on my life as an artisan dyer/spinner seemed to be happening at the right time. 

Another shift is coming but I have not "heard" what it will be, yet. I just know that I am ready for a new adventure. Perhaps the adventure is to go back to those roots of mine and spend more time with the creatures that create my raw materials. I don't know, yet.

Trixie has come into my life to force me to get more active again, outside of the sometimes back breaking hours in the workshop. She is built for and has to have time to run and so we close the office door by 4 pm, change shoes, tug on our coats and go for a hike in the woods. It is a GOOD thing and after I do my one last chore of dinner creation, I reward myself with the pleasure of an evening of spinning, in my Woman Cave.

So, let's see if we are meant to go to New York in October. If it is meant to be, I hope to see some of my great fiber friends again, people who eschew the shows that I do now. I am a spinner and dyer and artist and need to get back to my roots...again. Cross your fingers for me, will you?

 

Comments

[Beth Collins]

Fingers crossed :) Change is hard, but you can do it.

[Renee Rothmann]

It's hard to type with fingers crossed, but here goes. You may have left the redwoods on King's mountain, but I was there, and so were a lot of others, and we remember and were inspired and learned about color and fiber and the beauty of your creations and dreamt of making something even slightly as fantastic, sensational, whimsical. I hope you realize that as you move on to something new, we are all right behind you.

[Lisa Souza]

Thanks, Beth! Renee, I want you to know that you are part of the reason that I got back to blogging. I heard you and the other noisy ones. Thanks for the poetic and kind words. Mwah! (coming to Stitches West?)

[Renee Rothmann]

duh (she said poetically).

[Janice]

Fingers crossed!

[Caroline]

Well, we want to see you at Rhinebeck! so I really hope you get in! We have our hotel booked already for October.

[Lisa Souza]

Thanks, Caroline. We'll see! I don't want to get my hopes up but perhaps it will be time.