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I wish you and your mom all kinds of peace. I can't even imagine having to care for a parent that way, especially as I'm embarking on my first experience of parenting my own child.

You are so strong and it sounds like you are making peace with your situation. I wish you lots of love!


boy howdy, do i understand! my mother lives on her own, and i call and check on her almost daily. and she'd been telling me she was fine. she's been ill recently, and mysteriously so for a good part of it, so when i went to pick her up last saturday, and she was swelled up like a toad, i about lost it. she was admitted to the hospital. we are having a serious talk about what "fine" and "okay" really are, and that if she's not feeling the greatest, TELL ME! she doesn't drive, and is deaf, so she depends on me for transportation and translation. i wish she'd let me take better care of her. sigh.

here's hoping it happens easily w hen it does. *hugs*


Not a lot of people could do what you're doing. Go Lisa. Go Rod. And I'm wishing you had (if it would help) a hospital bed so you could put the sides up at night like a baby's crib.


You are doing an amazing job! What a husband too. I'll have you in my thoughts.


You are amazing and so strong. I have some of the same issues with my mother (the controlling part) and I don't think I could do what you are doing. I hope all of you have a peaceful holiday.


Oh Lisa,
God bless you!!!! 3 years ago we moved my mom down here to be close to us and to live with my bro and his wife as she was diagnosed with lymphoma and was failing. She had to stay with us for a weekend while my bro got his house ready for her. I live in an old Victorian with the only bath on the 2nd floor. The first night, she refused to put us out of our bedroom, insisted on sleeping downstairs on the pull out sofa. It was like having a 200 lb baby in the house. She tried to negotiate our long steep stairs at least 3 times through the night to get to the bathroom and scared the sh$% out of me each time. She had just gotten out of the hospital after spending a week in bed and could only walk short distances with a walker. We got her to my bro's house and sadly, within a month the treatment and the cancer left her paralyzed, and a year later dead. I still miss her terribly. Don't mean to depress you with this. Just to let you know that I'm with you in this in spirit at least and praying for you and your family. You've got a tough road ahead, there is help out there, use it!!


Lots of love and good wishes for peace and patience. This is a very trying time for your whole family, but I hope all of our love, prayers and support help just a little.
Just breathe deeply. It helps.

Janice in GA

I hear you. Keep in mind she's probably doing the best she can. My dad Has Issues too. My sister thinks that if she just tells him something often enough, he'll remember. She hasn't really realized yet that he just can't. She thinks he's lying to her about what he's done, but the truth is, he just doesn't remember.

He is, at least so far, physically well and active. But the dad I knew a few years ago is mostly gone already.


Jen Johansson

Oh sweetie, your readers have already left you such wonderful, inspirational comments, that I am left speechless. I do hope for peace and strength as you move through this phase of life.

Hugs and happy thanksgiving.

Sheila E

I hope that your Thanksgiving is Peaceful and Light!!
You and Rod are definitely Angels for your Mom!
Take rest when you can, breathe deep...and know that you are all sent a lot of strength to get through this!
Not always easy coming IN or Getting OUT!


May your Thanksgiving be a day of peace with all the blessings of your love for one another.


More sighs! More hugs! More love to you and Rod!


ouch. Such pain and reality and working through the leftovers of the parental stuff, then coming to grips with mortality, and senility, and the appearance of volition when she has none. Virtual *hug* to you. It is so hard.


Hang in there. It takes a special person to take care of an elderly parent. You have my admiration. You might consider getting a baby monitor so if something happens again, you will hear her more quickly. Just a thought.


Oh Lisa. I just can't even imagine. Sometimes, as horrible as it sounds, I feel lucky that my mom died young and I never had to see her get old or sick. :( You are in my thoughts.


Wow, Lisa. I took care of my father in law here at home till he died; but we had a good relationship. It was VERY difficult at times, but there wasn't the emotional baggage I would have if my mother were here, which she absolutely wouldn't be.

You are doing a wonderful thing, having her there with you, forgiving her. The latter I am doing with my own mother, slowly.

It's my prayer that out of the difficulty of these days new colorways will be born in you... kind of like beauty for ashes.


Lisa, know that my thoughts are with your along this journey.


Lisa, those of us fortunate enought to have our parents grow old must deal with these issues. It's awful to have to become the parent. Sometimes the only thing that can get you through is your sense of humor-for our family, the more twisted the better. My girls are my strength-they have shared the burden of my mother dying of lung cancer and dealing with an aging, stubborn and independent father. Hang in there girl, and don't forget, there are plenty of us baby boomers out here sharing your pain and frustration. And most importantly, remember to take care of yourself-and laugh.


Oh, Lisa...there's just nothing more to say that hasn't already been said. I'm thinking of you, and you and your mother are both in my meditations. Although I haven't shared this experience, all my thoughts are with you both. Take a big hug and a deep breath, my friend.

Tom Clark

I love that you can still find some humour in the midst of everything that's going on. That's my girl!

Helle Reed

Ohhh Lisa. I am so sorry. Don't know what to say, to be honest. But I will be thinking of you and yours. You are an amazing woman......and you got yourself a really great DH!:-)


Wow - as I read this, tears come to my eyes. I lost my mom this year and it has been so hard. From your words, you sound like you have things so together. You are a strong amazing woman and my heart is with you. Remember to take time for yourself so that you have the strength and humor to deal with whatever comes.

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