Let me tell you...

I got my computer back. Yes, I got sick awhile back and then my computer got sick but as I have told some people, my computer ended up at the Mac Hospital. I have been limping along with my old laptop and doing email online, which is really daunting for someone used to having everything at her fingertips.  TOO MUCH. We kept expecting the Fricking Genius to call to say that they had replaced the naughty bits on my Mac but they kept having problems, all the while that we were away in Santa Clara for Stitches. When we got home late last night there was a message from Genius Joe, telling us that they were crying Uncle and would give me a brand spanking new computer to replace my old one that was on an extended warranty. WOO HOO! They were able to transfer all of the info from my old hard disk over to this hot new one and so I am ALMOST good to go. Now it seems that my nemesis, Hughesnet, is throttling us back in download and upload speed because we had the audacity to download about 200 emails that were left on the server...not a lot, my friend...not a lot. So now I will have to wait 24 hours for these clowns to take the governor off of our speed. For CRYING OUT LOUD!!! If it seems like a soap opera, it feels like one here. There are always silver linings to each of the stressful things that we have been through lately but this is still enough to make me ask Sheila about which planet is screwing with things.

Alright, we have some things to catch up on, don't we? Those of you that were kind enough to ask about the latest shenanigans when we saw you at Stitches can just ignore this stuff.

A week ago last Friday we had a visit from the physical therapist from the convalescent hospital...you know, I was not going to put mom through the ordeal, yatta yatta yatta. I should have. The guy tells us that she has met the criteria for being able to be released to her home...walking 125 feet with a walker and heaven knows what else. I believed him and prepared to have her home on Tuesday. We ran errands, getting things ready for her and then picked her up that afternoon. Hmmm, it took her 5 minutes to swing her legs around on the bed to begin to get out of bed. (should have been a red flag) We got her signed out and got her meds and were told Good Luck, you'll need it, by her nurse. (red flag number two.) It took FOREVER to get her out of bed and into the wheel chair and there were no staff members there to help us get her out of the building. Hmmm... Rod pulled the car around and it took forever to get her into the car. We made the ride home and up the driveway and she seemed happy to be sprung from the place. It took forever to get her out of the car and into her wheel chair to head into the house...look at your house mom...no response. We get her into the house and hear that shs just wants to go to bed and that is where we head. She still was not walking other than to transfer from one wheeled thing to another. (Uh oh) I got her into bed and had to help this weak as a kitten big woman turn around to get in and land in an odd position, which she refused to change. Ok...getting a little bit worried now.

I did battle all day with doctors and all sorts of people to get her oxygen and breathing machine delivered and by the time the evening came around and she ate two bites of dinner I was in full on panic. Thankfully, the friend who volunteered to stay with her while we were at Stitches said that she would come that evening to help with the breathing treatments that we were suddenly learning about as well as being thrown into caring for someone who is supposed to do blood sugar checks. I was overwhelmed and worried about leaving!

Wednesday morning came and we were ready to head out when I went in to say goodbye to mom...hmmm, the light is on and she is not in bed...a good sign...did she get herself into the bathroom? NO! She was on the floor wedged between the bed and the blanket chest and when I hollered "MOM"! she says...what? WHAT??? We tried to get her up but she kept hollering OW, which sent me reeling toward the phone and the 911 operator. It took 4 paramedics to get her onto the gurney and this was the final straw after trying to change her and help her...there was NO WAY that she could be home with a caregiver. Off she went to the hospital after I looked her into the face and told her that she was going to have to go back to the convalescent hospital because of her condition and size. She just did not do the work when she was in there and so she has just gone down hill from eating linebacker portions and lying in bed. Can you say, Horrified??? Yes.

She is back in there and we finally went to visit her today. She was telling me that she knows that she needs to get busy so that she can go home. Yeahright...go for it...make it happen. I just told her that it was all in her hands and that the only way that she could hope to come home would be if she could walk herself to the bathroom and keep herself clean because I was not falling for this again. I said it nicely but firmly but Cinderella has left the building. No more of this . She is safe and well cared for (as well as can be expected with someone with her attitude and situation) and she has enough money squirreled away to allow me to pay for this care, which is now private pay. So be it. It takes 3 skilled nurses to change her and I am not going to grapple with a very large dead weight. Two of us tried it the morning that she was taken and it was all that we could do to clean  her up. Done.

We had a lovely weekend at Stitches and I will write about it tomorrow. Here's hoping that these Hughesnet jerks let me upload this. One step at a time...

Comments

[Laura in Alameda, CA]

Get her current functioning documented and get on the phone with Kaiser member services and find out if any of this can be covered. Keep the firm tone and don't take no for an answer the first seven or eight times you hear it. If she has any days of coverage left, you should get them. You are doing the right thing in this nurse's opinion- you can easily hurt yourself turning big folk, esp. big folk with big attitude. Back injuries can last a long, long, time, and you have yourself to worry about. Hang in there. Also, whenever you go see her, if it is blood sugar time or treatment time, practice so you feel confident later.

[elizabeth]

Good for you:-) We have to know limitations. It is best for everyone involved. A lot of times we want to do it ourselves but we aren't the best ones to do it. Think of you often!

[Carol]

Hold firm. You are doing the right thing. Even if she tries to guilt you, you ARE doing the RIGHT THING. It is extremely easy to hurt yourself when dealing with adults who need a lot of physical care. Adn if you threw your back out, where would mom be? Back in the hospital anyway. Right beside you. I know it's hard. but keep on!

[CarolineF]

You are totally doing the right thing. Stay firm! And get that PT guy on the phone to ask him if he knew which patient he was talking about.

[marti]

take a deep breath and let it out. i am glad your mom is in a safer place for her, and that she has a daughter who is wise enough to know it! love ya lots.

[Sandie]

Another nurse weighing in. You can't take care of her if you don't care for yourself first! Sounds like you need a caregiver group (which I have). Few get it when it comes to caring for a loved one. Guilt is the bigge here. Don't let it get you down and try to remember the funny times. There must have been some.
Also, listen to the comment about being firm with the health plan! They don't want to spend.
Lots of hugs.

[Sandie]

Another nurse weighing in. You can't take care of her if you don't care for yourself first! Sounds like you need a caregiver group (which I have). Few get it when it comes to caring for a loved one. Guilt is the bigge here. Don't let it get you down and try to remember the funny times. There must have been some.
Also, listen to the comment about being firm with the health plan! They don't want to spend.
Lots of hugs.

[AlisonH]

I'm so glad you got some time off, seeing people at Stitches. It was SO good to get to spend some time with you!