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Oh, Lisa! I feel for you. You are brave. You are good. And you are loved.

I don't comment much, but I have been following along. My prayers are with you and your family.


Kim is an angel. And so are you.


This just brought tears to my eyes Lisa. There are so many days I miss my mother but I'm also glad I never had to watch her get old. I know that sounds totally morbid but it's true. She was 45 when she died 15 years ago. My heart goes out to you so much. I can't even imagine what it's like for you. Sending you a big, huge, hug.

Paula D.

Oh my, it's always so hard to watch someone decline, even harder when it's a parent.

My thoughts are with you while you go through these difficult times with your mom.

Then, you have the flip side with the little guy to bring you back up!


"I wish that she had had the courage to slip out when she was so near to it this past Winter." Lisa . . . I know. I have the same thoughts about my mother and then I think that I'm a monster. You're not alone.

Elizabeth Risch

Hang in there, Lisa. We love you. Your little grandson is medicine for your burdened soul. Hugs,


It leaks out one hole and poured into another. Sending hugs, friend.

Tom Clark

I wonder if most parents realize how little it takes to make their child feel like "they're over the moon."

And conversely, how little it takes to make a child feel unwanted and sad.

On a bright note, I do see things changing dramatically when we speak of the generations that have followed those of our parents. I see fathers far more involved in the lives of their children and I see women lamenting far less often the challenges of a career and family and instead just plowing ahead and making it work the best they can with no apologies.

Kids my age were beaten with regularity - it was just part of the landscape if you grew up in the 50s. I see our kids using time-outs as a viable alternative to beatings.

I think we're part of an evolving consciousness and it encourages me. Our moms, (and our dads for that matter) bless their hearts, just passed on what they knew without questioning the merits or lack of them involved. I don't see too many of us doing that anymore. I see parents making herculean efforts to do better than those before them did.

rebecca jc

You are an amazing person Lisa. Just hang in there. As they say, this too shall pass. And thank you, Tom, for such a positive outlook. I totally agree.


big hugs girlfriend


Lisa, that was a lovely bit of writing. You are NOT a monster for thinking/wishing that she had slipped away last winter. I betcha that if your mother was totally aware of herself and her surroundings, she would absolutely HATE to be in the condition she's in now, and would agree with you. Don't be too hard on yourself. You're doing good.

Linda Watson

Lisa, your writing brought it all back, only now from a distance of several years. I won't say it gets easier, but it does get less stabbing pain and more, sounds so trite, meaningful. I write about my mom and me on my blog sometimes. I'm even starting a beadwork series about us. Now it's starting to move into story rather than that intense identification. The old lady beaded portrait on the blog is her. The June 5 post might be interesting to you. What tangled webs we weave.


Lisa, you have the support and love of all of us here in cyberspace, and of course snickle...what a blessing!

Lisa S

Thanks Everybody. I didn't mean to make it sound like a pity party...just ramblings on a weird day. Helping to raise a Schnickle puts EVERYTHING into perspective, to be sure and I am going to make the most of life, one day at a time. At the very least...she is living THERE instead of HERE...know what I mean???


Last week, my auntie didn't know my name for the first time. It does hurt.

Beating yourself up about wishing she had died? Cut out the beating up part. That's a normal response.


On the happy note; I know what you mean. Lucy's doing this thing lately where if I'm carrying her and something else, she reaches out and puts her hand on the something else, so she can help carry it. Lovely.

On the less happy note; I'm sorry. Rely on your friends. This, too, is survivable.

Much love.


We once were in DC and went to visit my hubby's grandmother, who was well into her 90's and had never had the easiest personality; visiting was a duty when I wanted it to be a joy. Nothing at all like what you've had to go through, I know, just the smallest taste.

My husband's little sister, who lived 45 minutes away, faithfully visited her fairly often, and here we were on our once a year at most trek.

My grandmother had been good friends with his grandmother in the 50's till mine moved away in the 70's; mine had helped her through her mother's own passing. And so, the old lady knew who I was: Oh, you're Frances's granddaughter, aren't you?! How good of you to come! She was actually sort of charming.

I'm not sure my sister-in-law entirely forgave me that; her grandma didn't know who she was half the time, wasn't the best to her either way, but her friend's granddaughter rated. (Uh, yeah, Grandma, and I married your grandson, remember? Oh YEAH, right, right.)


Thinking about you and sending hugs. Thank goodness for Schnickle!

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