My new Kaiser doctor is a sweet guy who moved up to Placerville from the San Louis Obispo area and boy is he a pest! He came into my life recently, as one doctor that I had been ignoring since ShingleLand handed me off to The FNG. (Erik taught me this term, which ends with NewGuy.) 'K. It all began as I decided to be good and get that mammogram that I had put off, after seeing a clinic doctor about that grapefruit sized reaction to a teensy weensy, itty bitty DEER TICK. These days, at Kaiser, women are encouraged to Just Show Up at the x-ray department and so I did. The tech did the deed and I was set free. Sweet!
Not so fast, Sister...here comes a phone call from the FNG. He introduces himself as my new doctor and then announces that the radiology department would be calling me because they detected a little abnormality in the mammogram. (!) Every damned one of my hairs stood up and burst into flame at that moment. Yeah, nice to meet you and what are you saying, exactly? Ok, I admit it, I fled the house and came over to the little house and climbed onto the treadmill to bring my fear back into a normal range. It was just not a good look for me, believe me. I was to wait. I waited for a few days and calmed down until the postcard notice came from the radiology department, saying that they would call me to book an appointment for a follow-up. No problem. I calmed right down...NOT. The call came within a couple of days and a nice woman said that they were setting me up with a TWO HOUR window of time at a special clinic down in Sacramento, where they would do some more pictures and then, if needed, an ultra-sound. I was remarkably calm when I spoke to her but my anxiety level did creep up JUST a bit.
Last Tuesday, after humping it home from Stitches West, we rolled down the hill to the clinic. I was more than a little apprehensive but remained calm, so that I would not have some sort of Flop Sweat thing going on that would ruin my deoderant-free armpits. Pictures, pictures, squish-that-is-going-to-leave-a-mark pictures and then I was free to sit in the room and do a few more rows on my never ending shawl thing. The tech came back, after confering with the radiologist and announced that I had won a prize that entitled me to have a do-over. Huh? Yes, the radiologist couldn't find that Thing. 'K. Two more squishy x-rays ensue and then more knitting. Nope, go ONE MORE TIME because they STILL can't find what they were looking for. (hmmm, did anyone check the Folsom machine for DUST?) She came back one last time, declared me to have the breasts of a 20 year old (liar) and then cut me loose.
The sun shone ever so much brighter on the way HOME. Did you all feel it? There was skipping! There were woodland creatures with big eyes waving to me as we drove home!
When I got back here and fired up the computer, well, there was a message from, you guessed it, Doctor FNG. He also declared me cancer free and oh by the way, I had ridiculously low vitamin D levels and started me on prescription strength blue pills. Zowie!
I forgot to tell you that I was so VERY good when I went to Dr Wonderful that I got a long ignored you know what smear while I was in there. Uh huh. Guess who called me when I was at Stitches West? You guessed it, Doogie Howzer. Oh, by the way, there is something a little OFF with your pap smear, says he. No need to be concerned but you will get a call from the OB-GYN department. Yeah, 'k, whaT-everrrrrrr. No, I DID stress a little but then realized that he did say that it was NOT pre-cancer and so I get to WAIT again and then do yet another try for the Woodland Creature Wave stuff. Swell, this is what happens when you try to be GOOD.
Yes, I AM trying to be good now, after years of ignoring that stuff. Weight is dropping because I am exercising and eating less crap but I am after LOWER CHOLESTEROL numbers, etc. I kicked the tires and found them to be a little shabby and flabby but I still have time to turn this car around. The vitamin D and weight loss are doing wonders for my spirits and I aim to be around to talk smack with my grandson and rock my new grandbaby, who is currently a grandfetus, this summer.
It's all good and I am grateful to have such a pesky doctor. I told him that, too. I called him Marcus Wellby Junior and declared him to be a good guy in the old Doctor Who Does Housecalls sort of way. Lucky. (Don't even talk to me about that other invasive test...not this month, Buster.) Trying to be good...trying to be good...
My sister-in-law's mastectomy is this week--thank you for getting that mammogram, even if it was so hair-raising!
Posted by: AlisonH | February 28, 2011 at 04:26 PM
so much better to have a pesky doc than one who is too busy to check on all of your tests - keep up the good work! (both of you)
Posted by: Margaret | February 28, 2011 at 04:38 PM
I too am glad you got the Mammoslam. My mom died of BC and I loath getting the girls mangled but I do it every year. I get to skip every other year now that I'm so "clear", yippee!
Vitamin D is definitely my friend. I'm a pasty white girl and take 5000mg each and every day. The sun here above the 45th parallel is strong enough only 10 weeks of the year for my skin to actually get it's vitamins. B12 is another one that I can't seem to get enough of but boy howdy it's a nice lift!
Glad to hear everything is A-OK!
Posted by: AnnaMarie | February 28, 2011 at 04:39 PM
I have been doing the same thing lately..trying to be good. So I get my labs done, and Kaiser calls me to tell me my cholesterol is "very high". WHAT?! When did that happen? I ask her for the number and she says 164. Ummm..I thought anything under 200 was what we were supposed to aim for? Nope, not anymore. AHA tuned up those numbers and now it's 120 or below. Great. The woman now tells me "vegan would be the way to go. You need to cut out any food that comes from a source with a liver." I might add this was a non-fasting test, so I'm to go back in 3 months for a fasting test. Meantime, the mini-stepper has been brought out of the closet.
I hope all goes well for you!! :=)
Posted by: KnitNurd | March 01, 2011 at 08:25 AM
Geez! Makes you wonder about the new school mammograms on demand, doesn't it?
Did they at least send you home with the really cool apple shaped cutting board that said "Thrive" on it? Weirdest swag ever.
Posted by: Cookie | March 01, 2011 at 11:31 AM
Good for you getting caught up on all those nasty tests. I was diagnosed with BC following my annual m-gram in 08. Caught early, because I get checked every year. Even with early detection I had 14 months of treatment. Not fun, definitely, but I'm still here and well. I know other cancer sisters who waited too long and they had it much worse. Annual digital m-grams give the best data. Any test beats no test, however monthly self exams don't work very well. Mine was located right on the chest wall, so by the time I found it myself it would have been too late. Take care of yourself.
Posted by: Anne | March 08, 2011 at 05:48 AM
Got the All Clear with the whole HPV test and so no cancer. No cutting board, either, Cookie! Just glad that the OB does not need to see me for THREE years! amazing but something to be said for having one partner, I guess...
Posted by: Lisa S | March 21, 2011 at 02:10 PM
Nothing more heart stopping than the call-back. Yeah. Then you feel like you have a new lease on life.
We are like used cars: running fine, just need a little more maintenance.
Posted by: Laurie | March 22, 2011 at 04:57 AM